律师笑话

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摘要

在美国平常百姓的印象中,律师总是脱不了“狡诈”、“吸血鬼”的形象,可是出了事又不得不跟律师打交道。在这样的背景之下,产生了许多“律师笑话”。Q:What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?A:The tick stops dr

在美国平常百姓的印象中,律师总是脱不了“狡诈”、“吸血鬼”的形象,可是出了事又不得不跟律师打交道。在这样的背景之下,产生了许多“律师笑话”。

Q:What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

A:The tick stops draining you and drops off

after you're dead.

问:壁虱和律师有何差别?

答:你死了以后壁虱才会停止吸你的血,掉下来。

Q:How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A:His lips are moving.

问:你怎么看得出律师在说谎?

答:他的嘴唇在动的时候。

Q:Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

A:Professional courtesy.

问:鲨鱼为什么不攻击律师?

答:同业的礼貌。

Q:What are lawyers good for?

A:They make used car salesmen look good.

问:律师有什么用?

答:让二手车推销员相形之下像是好人。

Q:How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers?

A:Because after they die,they lie still.

问:你怎么知道律师死后并非一了百了?

答:因为律师死了以后就躺着不动了。

(lie still是“继续说谎”的双关语)

Q:What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers?

A:He would starve to death.

问:要是把一个食人族和满屋子律师关在一起会怎么样?

答:食人族会饿死。

Q:Why did the lawyer cross the road?

A:To get to the car accident on the other side.

问:律师为什么要过马路?

答:为了赶到街对面的车祸现场插一脚。

Q:Why won't vultures eat dead lawyers?

A:There are some things that would gag even a vulture.

问:秃鹰为什么不吃死去的律师?

答:有些东西就连秃鹰吃了也会噎着。

(陈四化摘自台湾《时代解读》2003年第2期)

(作者:佚名 字数:1316)

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